Do you call after you sleep together?

By Dr. Jane Greer

Rumors have been swirling over whom Zac Efron is dating. Earlier this year he was linked to “Mirror Mirror” star Lily Collins, but not much has been said about them lately. It is hard to know just how far their connection went, but whenever I hear about new relationships I often wonder about those first few moves each person makes and how much that affects their future as a couple. One of the big questions that usually comes up is: If you’ve just spent the night together, do you call?

If you are a man, know that if she does reach out she is not looking to put a ring on your finger, but simply to maintain the connection she felt because, since you were just intimate, she may be feeling a little vulnerable. Talking to you and making future plans can be reassuring for her. If she does call you, put it in that context instead of thinking she is just being clingy. Don’t give up on someone at that point who you might ultimately be able to build a great relationship with. Along the same lines, if you can bring yourself to do it, give her a call. You can keep it casual, but at least you are letting her know you might be interested in seeing her again, and you will alleviate some of the uneasiness she might be feeling.

If you are a woman, and you have a strong urge to maintain the intimacy and call, do your best to resist. If you are coming from a place of fear — that he will never call — then he will probably sense that. Letting him initiate will eliminate the possibility that he will feel boxed in and think you are pushing him faster than he feels ready to go. If, on the other hand, you’ve had some back-and-forth contact, then a casual text or e-mail is probably fine.

 – Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide. 

Please tune in to “Let’s Talk Sex” which streams live on HealthyLife.net every last Tuesday of the month at 2 PM EST, 11 AM Pacific. We look forward to listener call-in questions, dealing with relationships, intimacy, family, and friendships, at 1.800.555.5453.

Connect with Dr. Jane Greer on Facebook, and be sure to follow @DrJaneGreer for her latest insights on love, relationships, sex and intimacy.

See Dr. Greer’s article in METRO.

 

 

Posted June 22, 2012 in Metro News