Chaz Bono: Dancing With Controversy – He Is No Longer A Follower
You can’t accuse Chaz Bono of being a wall flower. He has put himself out there over and over again, speaking openly about his choice to legally change his gender from female to male to the press as well as in the documentary Becoming Chaz in which he shares his journey as a transgender man. And recently he decided to take it to the dance floor when he agreed to be one of the celebrities on ABC’s hit show Dancing With The Stars.
The network’s choice to feature him on the show has been met with much controversy. People have argued that the “family friendly” show is no place for this subject. The angry outpouring has only made Chaz more determined to tell his story. He was born Chastity, the pretty blond daughter of the famous singing duo Sonny and Cher. We watched her grow up, first as that young princess who was doted on during their television show and then later when she revealed she was gay. And then even later she came forward with her choice to become a man.
While change is often for the better it is usually extremely hard. Even the smallest changes are difficult for us, replacing a comfortable winter coat or adjusting to a favorite restaurant’s closure. What we think of as the exciting changes of our lives – getting married, moving, starting a new job, having a baby – can also be quite challenging and can usher in their fair share of anxiety. Given that, can you imagine how hard it was for Chaz to decide to change his gender and identity along with it? It is so easy, in an effort to avoid the difficulties of change and the backlash it might bring, to put it off and get stuck in a relationship, situation or role in which you don’t want to be. This is exactly what I talk about in my book Gridlock: Finding the Courage to Move On in Love, Work and Life.
By nature, all the people who come to my practice are seeking some sort of change, and that means they have to be willing to invest the energy that it requires. I can only imagine how trapped Chaz must have felt to embark on his journey which included both physical and emotional pain while enduring being in the limelight and all the public ridicule that brought. He had to be in great despair to take that on. He had the courage of his convictions, and considering the insurmountable hurdles he tackled, what he did was nothing short of extraordinary. Instead of judging the choices he made, some compassion and empathy for all he has been through can go a long way. You certainly don’t have to like it, or choose this for yourself, but can you just let him dance? While you may not agree with the preferences of others, gaining some insight so you can accept them is what really matters. He has been willing to be a role model and portray his new identity in a positive light, rather than trying to hide it and letting it be perceived as something shameful, as some of the critics would argue he should have done. Hopefully his openness will help raise awareness and educate people who through understanding might become less quick to dismiss something they know little about and eventually be able to embrace his choice with respect.
The only question that really needs to be raised now in regard to Chaz Bono’s appearance on Dancing With The Stars is how well can he dance? And here is to his continuing to take the lead and dance through the controversy.
Posted September 22, 2011 in Psychology Today
