Have you been told not to keep score in your relationship? Here’s why that advice is sexist.

It may just be the worst ‘put up and shut-up’ misogyny ever perpetuated.


In too many relationship counselor offices, or in books and articles on creating satisfying relationships, couples are given the pithy sound bite advice to “not keep score."


On the surface, it sounds logical. Nobody likes to hear they’re doing less than their partner. Yet, in the majority of heterosexual relationships it’s most often the woman who needs to keep score. Sure, men today do more housework and parenting now than their forefathers, but studies have shown women are still responsible for a larger share of physical, emotional and invisible labor within the relationship and family unit.


Telling them to not keep score may just be the worst “put up and shut-up” misogyny ever perpetuated.


Jane Greer, a New York-based marriage and family therapist and author of “What About Me?” confirms that tallying scores happens frequently in her practice, most often done by women tired of having their inequity grievances ignored by their partners.


Read full article here.




© 2020 Dr. Jane Greer

  • White Facebook Icon
  • White Twitter Icon